i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
