had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
