Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just want nice things and good sex
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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