The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
