Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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