aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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