you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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