Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize