They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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