He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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