Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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