yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
