how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Randomize
