i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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