i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Randomize
