Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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