Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
