All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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