I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
where does the pee come out of this thing
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize
