I heard we made out
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
