she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
