I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
