I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
