sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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