My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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