Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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