oh god the rape fog is back!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize