I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Randomize
