escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Do vagina's smell?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
