Hey man sorry I got all grabby
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
