I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
