So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
