So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
