why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
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