i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
