you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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