I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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