I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize