I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We talked him into tasing himself.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
