dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I need moral support for this bender
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
