i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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