She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
