I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
