Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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