I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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