Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
