fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Too much gin, very little bucket
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
