$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
not ubering you a puppy
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
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