When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
