we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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