my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
pray to the hookup gods
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
