i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Randomize
