Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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