Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
