I need help removing her.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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