i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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