Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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