Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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