if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
