Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
