The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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