Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
