Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
