How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
so that wasnt chicken after all
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Randomize
