yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize