Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
