My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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