I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
