Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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