handjob tips. give me some.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
